Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in akemileena's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
10:08 am	Of being an alchemist This is a topic I said I'd cover. People who read this livejournal have probably noticed I hadn't written in it for a long while. That's mostly because I was developing a new mindset, and the frame of mind I was using to even hold my information was corrupt. As of yesterday, I've renounced being a scientist and instead have embraced becoming an alchemist. The difference between an alchemist and scientist isn't apparent at first glance, but past the first layer they deviate very powerfully. Where a traditional scientist will ask how things work?, an alchemist will ask work things? how? Confusingly, alchemy is a science in the sense of the word, but it rejects the label -- actually, that's part of the nature of the art, it's always shifting so you can't pin it down. Where most sciences are grounded in order and balance it with chaos, this one is grounded in chaos and balanced with order. I'm greatly oversimplifying it though, as all sciences are preoccupied with understanding the forces of the universe. Where most philosophy and science as we know it approaches a problem logically and objectively and analyzes every possible thing it can without assumption, alchemy dives straight into the deep end to try and answer what questions it wants and disregarding almost anything that doesn't directly or indirectly relate to getting what they want. Traditional science wants to find the "answer", alchemy wants to find the philosopher's stone. It's hard for me to be objective about this, considering I'm essentially an alchemist -- where we stand, almost all science is on the search for the philosopher's stone, were just not in denial about it. I'm sure one of you more logical types can refute that, and I welcome you to. First off, what IS the philosopher's stone? In alchemist myth, it's a miracle substance that can transmute anything common to something beautiful and precious and bestow eternal or near-eternal life and youth. Transmutation lies at the heart of alchemy, the process of transforming the less valuable and less beautiful into the more valuable and more beautiful -- I've ALWAYS been about that, what are the two most prevalent themes of the Eternals in the first place? While it's true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I am speaking mostly symbolically. Truthfully, from a scientific perspective, the alchemist never truly finds the philosopher's stone literally, but rather the process of finding the philosopher's stone IS the philosopher's stone which is discovered by the alchemist's soul. If the alchemist were to truly find a substance they could easily turn into eternal life, they would cease being an alchemist which essentially would bring an end to who they are. It's a quandary, and not one to be approached with a mind that should try to comprehend everything I just said above. The philosopher's stone can never truly be found by an alchemist who is thinking like a scientist -- that is a path to abject and endless despair as well as being emotionally and creatively blocked. But an alchemist who is thinking like an alchemist CAN find it. And it's right there in front of them. There are stones everywhere. The philosopher's stone is just a stone without the philosopher part. Take Plato. Give him a rock. There, that's your philosopher's stone. I'm a philosopher -- anytime I pick up a rock, I essentially "found" the philosopher's stone. I pick up a glass of water -- the philosopher's water. But wait, if the philosopher's stone was as simple as going outside and picking up a rock and being a philosopher, wouldn't we HAVE an eternal life elixir? Wouldn't I be transmuting things left and right? What alchemist myth often neglects to mention is whether an alchemist would even know what to DO with the philosopher's stone if they were to find it. That's the trick behind finding the philosopher's stone -- it's right there in front of you, in many mundane things, if you're a philosopher and you have a stone then you found it. The trick is turning those mundane things into something precious we can make use of. See? Were right back at transmutation -- the true nature of alchemy. The alchemist is an eternal agent of transfiguration, be it as complex as making a gentle and loving maiden of a burly and pugilistic warrior or as simple as making a healing salve from a normally useless leaf. I think I'm well suited for my work. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
10:45 am	Exiting the jeep, changing browsers A friend of mine the other day brought an interesting point to me as far as my problems or dilemmas go, and it's one I should have really seen myself. Namely, it's not any part of my mind that's the problem, but my identity crisis stems from a really poor browser. What do I mean by this? Imagine your mind is its own internet and your conscious mind is your browser. Part of my mind is polluted by false memes, doubts, confusion, pain, self-flagellation... and I've tried different "personas" to try and get rid of it, but it got worse instead of better. So I stopped trying. And my friend suggested that the very thing I'm using to solve my problems -- my conscious mind, my "browser" -- is what is at fault. It's loaded with the spiritual equivalent of security holes, spyware, and worms. It's like a jeep with an engine full of mud. It can't get me anywhere. Part of why my life and sense of hopelessness has been like quicksand (and ensuring my mental image of an eternal loser) is because I've been trying to clean up my dusty mind with a mud-soaked mop. This is no good. The reason the "transient" concept helped me feel so good for a while is because in order to adopt the persona I needed to stop using my mental browser for a while. That's why the mind noise let up finally for a while, had nothing to do with the concept itself. However, now that I see the problem, I think I need a brand new outlook on life. Not anything small or surface (changing a virtual hair color, a persona, or even spiritual species) but something very deep and encompassing. I think what I need back is my innocence, my sense of trust in the universe. I need to throw out my mental browser and get a new one. It's funky, but I'm actually trying to keep myself from thinking very hard today, because for my usual "deep thoughts" it requires use of my flawed, parasitic, and filthy mental browser. Here is something interesting: Leena had a role in this revelation, like she does in most things regarding me and the truth. Not a direct one... but let's say my friend wouldn't have the mindset to even give me that advice right now if Leena hadn't involved herself in some way. It's a long story. I'm thinking she manipulated my friend because she knew that she (my friend) had the wisdom I needed that I could be given in English form (Leena's communication with me is through feelings, not words, so nailing specifics is damn hard for me to get from her). This makes Leena one of the "good guys" right? Wrong. I have a suspicion that Leena was responsible for (or played a role in) my acquiring that flawed browser to begin with, or at least the corruption of it. This demon woman is toying with me, testing me... for what? I don't know. All I have to say that no matter how much I distrust her, or what she puts me through, I truly believe in the purity of her heart. Regardless, it's going to take a lot of vigilance on my part to keep myself from using that mental browser again. I need to recognize indications I'm climbing into that jeep and turning the ignition, even though it's got a horrible virus or infection in it. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
11:35 am	All you wanted to know about Makai I finally finished my Makai research, or at least the main body of it. Now I can give definitive answers to people regarding it. However, it should be noted that this is coming from someone who's never seen a single episode of Yuu Yuu Hakusho, so I ask kinjouten to give me a dropkick in the jaw if I screwed this up or am contributing to the growing mass of misinformation regarding this fascinating realm. First things first: What IS Makai? There is a short answer and a long answer. The short answer is enough for most people: It's basically like a fleshed out version of the Demon Realm (called "Hell" in most translations). However, this is misleading as many people see Hell as being comprised almost entirely of former angels, whereas Makai is practically a zoo of specimens. It was most likely invented as a concept by the anime Yuu Yuu Hakusho in 1992, and I estimate the concept itself to be only a little younger than fourteen years, however the religion (Shinto-inspired) Oomoto and Japanese Buddhism had a large role in providing the soil for which Makai grew. That's the short answer, and Hell does fit Makai. The long answer is the fun one. Basically, Makai is a sort of multi-universe that formed by a vacuum, very similar to how Ningenkai came into being. It exists not because of design, but because physics demanded the existence of such a hub. You see, the realms are less a gumball machine and more like a bowl of ice cream. They mix, they mingle, it's like those circle charts where two circles overlap and the "()" shape in between is shaded as a mix between those two colors. Makai, quite simply, is a multi-universe that came into existence by natural consequence of the Spirit Realm and the Demon Realm mixing. It is both realms at once, a netherworld if you will. The Spirit Realm and Demon Realm could both be their own studies, but I'll briefly describe both of them: the Spirit Realm is full of ghosts, magical creatures (Youkai), and the very essence of the world itself -- there is boundless creation and wonder in the spirit realm, as well as intense danger due to its chaotic-yet-organized nature. The Demon Realm needs no introduction, you need only pick up Dante's Inferno or any text about Hades. Really, since both the Demon Realm and Spirit Realm deal with souls to some degree, such a hybrid was an inevitability. This is why "Youkai" and "Demon" are (mistakenly) used interchangeably, and why Youkai enthusiasts want to burn Inuyasha at the stake. For this reason, Makai follows the logic of both the Spirit Realm AND the Demon Realm. Makai lies in parallel with Ningenkai, just as the Spirit Realm does, except it's dark and twisted in nature. For example, your school or house exists in Makai, but it might be appear as a cave, and those pansies you're growing outside could be warped or different in Makai. The two realms reflect each other. This concept hasn't been used much since Yuu Yuu Hakusho itself (the Maximov Castle in Darkstalkers does) I believe, but it holds a lot of sense to it. The Dark World from Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past (and now Twilight Princess) follows this design -- and why not? Makai can be translated as "The Dark World", given the prefix "Ma-" can mean something dark, mystical, or mysterious in a negative way. That provides a solid point of reference for most readers, as I'm assuming I'm mostly reaching a game/anime geek audience. Frequently the residents of Makai are simply called "Mazoku" in a few different stories, given that not every resident there is a Demon. In contemporary anime and games, the leader of Makai is called "Maou", or "The Devil", as in the sense that Satan is called such. What about Makai holds people's fascination, however, more than anythign else? It has to do with the fact these Demons aren't 100% beyond redemption and tend to have rounded personalities that work based on their own motivations rather than an inherent nature or prescribed protocols. Basically, they're more human than any religious version of Demonkin, they're more than capable of the full range of human emotion -- hate, love, sadness, happiness -- and are capable of knowing and expressing kindness. Note that while I said capable I do not mean they're a whit less dangerous or less mean than their plain chocolate religious counterparts. In some ways, they're even worse as they're far less predictable and their wider range of expression gives them even more insight on how to torment or hurt people. The Judeo-Christian Bible rightfully gives ample warning of these Demons. I mentioned in passing above that not only Demons live there. And it's true, Makai is far less unforgiving than traditional Hell -- its far more true to Hades and the existence of Elysium in parts. In Makai, power is law. They do not question people if they have talents that validate their existence among them and prove to hold their own. In Darkstalkers and Yuu Yuu Hakusho, they have a rating system based on grades. S: Extremely powerful demon of challenging for leadership of the world A: Makai noble or leader, very powerful Demon, phenomenally powerful (and inspiring) humans. B: Normal-level powered Demon, most residents of Makai. Very powerful humans or outsiders. C: Slave or at best working class. Humans who are able to fend for themselves, and weak Demons. D: Beast, fitting for a role of food or labor but little else. Many humans, but not most. Mostly animals. F: Kill on sight, enemy of Makai Here are some media that one can go to for further experience: Yuu Yuu Hakusho (anime) - A boy who gets caught in the spirit realm and is something of a phemonon or accident becomes part of a spirit investigation team out to solve a mystery of missing powerful artifacts. Eventually it takes the turn towards Makai and introduces it as a concept, as well as fleshing out some of the concepts highlighted above. Darkstalkers (game) / Vampire Savior (anime) - Story of a playgirl Makai noble's daughter (a succubus named Morrigan) who winds up having to take her life seriously when an old enemy of her family returns. Darkstalkers tells the story of Makai from the Demon perspective, based largely on the concepts introduced in Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Makai Senki Disgaea (game) (anime) - A game (and now coming anime) by some of the same minds behind Darkstalkers about the Prince of Makai and his claiming his rightful throne, while a sweet and loving angel from Tenkai watches him to find out if he knows how to love. Disgaea introduces Tenkai from Oomoto as a Judeo-Christian contrast, as well as inviting a cheerful and relaxed take on existence. Read more below. Makai Kingdom (game) - Also known as Phantom Kingdom, it's a spinoff of the above, except it focuses almost entirely on developing the concept of many worlds and existences (the main character's world is destroyed in the first ten minutes) while totally not taking itself a whit seriously helped along by a cast of neurotic and morally corrupt but memorable characters. Basically, it's Hitchhiker's Guide to Makai. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (game) - While not exactly about Makai per se, it very well conveys a lot of the atmosphere and creepy alternate-world feeling as well as a lot of the politics and existential questioning. The Demons (and Youkai) of SMT Nocturne better represent the variety show of Makai's residents, as opposed to the humanoid-biased examples above. (21 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 9th, 2005
6:45 pm	Heaven vs Hell: What are the facts? This is the most classic matchup in stories. Beings of light against beings of darkness. What are the facts, why does it happen, and what does each side have in mind for the other based on victor? Are Demons and Angels incompatible? I can answer all of those questions pretty definitively based on research I've done over the last week. When you get down to it, any conflict has to do when two interests clash. When the forces of Heaven and Hell meet each other in battle, it's due to both their years of programmed hatred and because they have needs that just can't both be fulfilled. However, the two don't fight anywhere near as often as stories would have you believe, it's just that when they do... they leave a huge mess. What conditions cause celestial beings and infernal ones to start killing each other? One is their disagreement over their origins -- angels would tell you that demons are just former members of their number who betrayed God. Demons will tell you that angels are full of shit and that they're more diverse than that. Thus just by that alone, the two don't get along -- angels see demons as backstabbers and traitors, and demons see angels as oppressive control freaks. Most of those ignorant to the true nature of celestial and infernal battles will stop there, even though if that were the only reason the worst you'd get is being unable to invite the two to the same game of bridge. The biggest conflict of interests lies in their food. Different bits of writing suggest that Demons feed on blood. Angels supposedly eat bread. Again, people will stop there. But yet this is very important: neither of those items are literal. Demons feed on negative energy that humans produce when in distress (blood is symbolic for this) and angels feed on energy God gives them, called manna. Neither of these food sources contradict each other directly. However, the Gods control angels to their ends and the Gods rely on positive energy humans emit as well as the energy of nature itself. Angels thus have three duties: keep humanity in as positive a state as possible, maintain natural order and balance, and bring the positive emissions to God. In return they get their manna for their obedience and service. That second duty is what will cause them to get in fights with demons -- demons need to disrupt balance and cause distress in order to get their food. This is the underlying basis for all celestial and infernal conflicts. However, thankfully, the two rarely directly interact. Angels regard demons aversely and vice versa holds true. They want nothing to do with each other! Outside of small conflicts or arguments, each side tries to disregard and avoid each other. They would prefer never having to meet the other if possible, or so it seems... (more in a sec) So when does it become all out war? Ragnarok level warfare? Typically one of a few conditions has to be set. It tends to happen on the heels of (or prior to) a world-shaping event like an ice age bringing meteor. Whenever the natural order of things becomes a very random factor or probability spin, you can bet the two sides will fight each other. Sometimes even battles or skirmishes will happen over smaller events as well, but like a teetering incline, a shift in one direction or the other will result in one ball at one end to roll at the other on its own momentum. Some typical events include a technological breakthrough on the human world that could save and improve many lives -- demons obviously don't want that. Similarly, angels will move to strike if a weapon that can cause mass carnage is about to be introduced. Sometimes a war will occur because the Maou has gotten enough power to become as strong as a God and challenges Shinkai, realm of the Gods. Since Tenkai (Heaven) relies on God for its sustenance, they're not going to just sit by and twiddle their thumbs. So that's it, right? The two are mortal enemies, end of story? No. More to it. Here is question: Can the two ever put aside their differences and work together? Yes. It's happened before, it will happen again. Once every so often, the two sides will agree and work together for a time. Different events can cause angels and demons to walk claw in hand, at least for a while. It's not a peace that can last, typically, but there have been reasons in the past for the two to stop fighting and try to understand each other. One classic cause, and one explored frequently in allegory and fantasy is the cliche "extra threat". If something comes along to threaten to destroy everything, the two will forget everything and forge an alliance -- since the two are similar beings, they're surprisingly compatible. Demons don't want anyone spoiling their party, angels want to protect people. Sometimes, likewise, either side will conspire against their own rulers. If a God begins oppressing people's minds, and the people are happy but stifled and enslaved and angels as a result aren't getting quality manna, they might look the other way for a while hoping their wayward brethren will reshuffle the deck a bit. Likewise, if it becomes questionable whether a Maou has his kind's best interests at heart (such as becoming obsessed with annihilation of all life, a truly counterproductive goal if there ever was one), a Maou-hopeful and his followers may petition Heaven for help. Finally, the least interesting situation: a balance-favoring, big-picture thinking, progressive and idealistic Maou comes into power and makes treaties with Heaven to try and find a way to mutually exist (This is the case with the Maou prior to Disgaea's story as well as the Maou in Shuffle!). Unfortunately since demons crave conflict and get antsy if they're not fighting someone, the Maou typically doesn't stay in power very long before an ambitious rival sees his "weakness" and challenges him. There you have it, folks. The reasoning behind the age-old conflict, and the potential wrinkles or intrigue that can occur that changes up the situation some. I hope this essay has provided some insight as to the internal workings of these beings. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
2:48 pm	Demons - psychology of the beast I feel I've recently come across a revelation regarding Demons. And I mean, all varieties -- Shinto. Goetian. Christian. They seem to be spiritual entities that survive almost purely on blackened or corrupted life energy. What I frequently call the "Miasma" is in fact part of this energy. While they can eat it in its pure form, it doesn't give them much nourishment or energy which in turn they use to whatever ends they please. Instead, ideally, they eat it regurgitated from another being. The trace or leftover lifeforce is what nourishes them. The lifeforce by itself outside of this packaging is inedible by Demons even if it has the spirit-equivalent of essential vitamins and minerals in them. The fusion of "miasma" with this "lifeforce" is what Shinto calls "magatsuhi" -- spirit of misfortune. Demons need to feed on it. What they do with that energy afterwards is dependant on individual, but ultimately without misfortune and unhappiness in the universe they would die out quickly. This creates an interesting dynamic for Demons as far as their role in the universe goes. They're both very good and very bad things. What's good about them? They clean worlds of lingering magatsuhi, which is poisonous to non-Demons and traps spirits. If Demons didn't go around feeding off loose magatsuhi, spirits would be trapped in this world unable to move on. This gives them a crucial role in keeping the universe a good place. After all, if they're eating all of the bad energy doesn't that make them the good guys? But it's not that simple. Skinner and his pigeons showed us that. Whenever an action is rewarded, it increases the chance of that action repeating. If Demons need magatsuhi, and humans exude it when miserable or pain... it's obvious the natural thing for them to do is induce pain and misery. Humans will then exude it, and they will feast. So thus you have the reason they're such malicious and destructive entities. They're predators, human magatsuhi is their prey -- the person itself they disregard like the shell of a peanut. Just break them and get the peanut. They're clever, not only will Demons create situations that will cause pain and misfortune but they'll learn ways of luring humans into doing things destructive to themselves or others as well. This is all to get to the magatsuhi. When humans get into war with each other, to them it's like a buffet. They're so cunning they'll even find ways of disarming human guard, or create moral ambiguity. Basically, they work to complicate the universe and fill it with magatsuhi. The vast majority of Demons, in some form, are proponents of this. They're not all bad. While you cannot get away from the fact they feed on magatsuhi and a world without it is one they'll die in, their attitudes and self control vary with the individual. Many of them hate humans because of the frustration of trying to tempt them or bring them to suffering. Many of them feel no passion towards humans, seeing them no different than any other crop or livestock. Some of them (a minority mind you) even like humans and try to make up for their parasitic nature by inducing pleasure or trying to distract from the discomfort somehow. This is how carnal pleasures became associated with them as well, in conjunction with religious control over sex. Ones who pleasure humans for purposes other than setting them up for failure are generally considered the "losers" of the Demon world. If they're the dirty hippies who only eat organic, then Greek Eudaemons would be the freaky new age gurus who "waste time" tutoring humans in arts and sciences. In Makai, unless they're already respectfully powerful they generally are shunned or even attacked and killed to keep their reputation nice and evil as well as the trace amount of magatsuhi torturing another Demon can get them. This is a shame, because their methods of harvesting magatsuhi are novel -- usually involving "good" stress or conflict such as the pain and grit one has in playing certain video games. It's in low levels, however, which keeps these "not so bad" Demons from growing very strong or holding much influence. Incidences of self-induced starvation have shrunk within infernal ranks. Just like on the human world, the greediest and fiercest reach the top of the pecking order in short order. In closing, knowing all this about Demon physiology and psychology doesn't make them any less dangerous or worth fear. The risk in trusting or befriending one of them is still steep, due to the fact that you're giving them the power to really hurt you emotionally and they have a reason to do it if you cross them or they have a judgement lapse of some sort. Generally speaking, after all things are considered, at the end of the day you are still better off shooting first and asking questions later. However it's always important to note that ultimately they're a collection of individuals and their kind are extremely individualistic. As such, the exceptions establish the rule. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
2:19 pm	The one thing more fun looking up information on Shinto-Christian blending for myself is doing it for others (in this case, researching what angels are to the Mazoku). Tenkai is about as interesting to read about as its dark counterpart, much to my surprise. They're morally ambiguous as well. I also need to figure out where the Shinzoku come into play with Tenkai, because they keep getting referred to as being the same as Demons but actually they're Gods and command sway in Tenkai. Pain in the ass sorting this shit out. But man, I love this. I'm very giddy. I'm also posting to mention something neat. Tenkai's influence is all over the world, and one of their rulers lives right on Mount Rainier and commands some influence in Seattle itself. That was surreal to read about. Anybody ever heard of the ruler Azuma-wake? I somehow doubt it, but worth asking. Also need to see where Makai falls into this mess, just to keep grounded. Right now I'm working on the assumption (for now) that it's similar to if not the same as Jigokukai. If that is the case, then "Tenkai and Jigokukai" are merely word parsing with "Shinkai and Makai", except one is more Christian and one is more Shinto (or rather, both are both in different measures. Pain in the ass!). Amusingly, the names still get interchanged in anime and other entertainment media (Pita Ten has Tenkai and Makai). I'm assuming this partially due to Jesus Christ's title of "Shinsoku Tenno". EDIT: Found the problem. I'm crossing wires with Shinto and Oomoto. Superficially the same, but the latter is an offshoot of the former. Oomoto is still interesting, though, has the concepts of transsexuality in it. Henjo-nanshi (male spirit, female body) and henjo-nyoshi (female spirit, male body). Current Mood: giddy (Comment on this)
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
12:52 pm	Angelic Orders I was surprised to learn that a number of people who read stuff I wrote didn't know what the angelic orders were. You could easily find it on Wikipedia, however I felt it'd be fun to define them here in layman's terms and offer comparisons and other "impure" information. I may not be informative, but I can be fun. Naturally, I'm going to mention examples of fallen angels to better illustrate how Heaven and Hell really are two sides of the same coin. Note that I'm going by the Hell under the Devil ("Maou") Satan. The Demon (Fallen) half of this list is subject to change depending on who is head honcho. Satan, sometimes called Baal after the Canaan rain God, is extremely powerful and is frequently imitated by other reality's Maou due to his efficiency, thus warranting the blanket statements. First Sphere Mostly concerned with administration and internal affairs Seraphim - The most powerful of angels, Seraphim take orders straight from God. They never leave his side, and don't typically concern themselves with matters beyond signing God's praise or offering companionship to him. To become a Seraphim is the highest possible honor for an angel. They rule the roost, for the most part, and all but the Cherubim answer to them. Fallen - Asmodeus is one of the fallen Seraphim. He organizes Demonic use of hedonism in order to tempt mankind into sin, as well as keep the Devil company. Cherubim - Another very high and powerful rank, the Cherubim have power that rivals the Seraphim. They command intense power over fire, and are the go-to people for keeping absolute order in the universe. Their most famous role is keeping Adam and Eve from returning to the Garden of eden using their flaming swords (and, in Gnosticism, the additional role of keeping Zoe from interfering again). Many of the most powerful fallen angels among Demons are former Cherubim, hence their power over fire. Fallen - Azazel is most famous for using Cherubic lenience on keeping order to mate with many mortal women and give birth to the Nephilim. The Nephilim go on to create much havoc and death, with the rare exception of "good" ones like Gilgamesh. Thrones - The chariot of God, they serve pretty much as transport for Heaven. Going between realms, they make sure that God's power is able to be felt in every nook and cranny across the universe. They lay the foundation for many of the other Angels to work from. Fallen - Astaroth is one of the fallen Thrones, he has the unique ability to inspire sloth as an opposite to the Thrones' mobility. He tempts people who cross him into procrastination and stagnation, rotting Hell's foes from the inside out. Quick aside: Always time for TG. Astaroth is based on Astarte, a very female Goddess of war/battle and passion. The Demon twisting of her was originally "Ashtaroth", but got a sex change somewhere. She was still focused on sloth, though. (Don't ask me where you get that from a war goddess) Second Sphere The Governors of Heaven and Earth, as well as keeping Demon influence low Dominions - They're responsible for keeping the other angels in line, and being extra careful to prevent them from bolstering the ranks of Hell. They also dish out the necessary discipline for those who fail at their work. Fallen - Rosier is a very unusual Demon. He's obsessed with the power of love and ways it can be used against Heaven. He and other former Dominions educate other Demons in seduction and fleeting passion. Powers - The Powers are the brain-trust of Heaven, responsible for keeping information regarding Celestial and Infernal matters accurate. They root out Demon influence and patrol the borders between Heaven, Earth, and Hell to make sure Demons aren't slipping through or poisoning people's minds with lies. Fallen - Carraeu, a former Power, helps organize effort to harden mortal hearts so they are unable to feel kind emotions or become lost in their own despair and unable to hear the word of God. Virtues - They're responsible for overseeing large groups of people, usually countries and such. They try to inspire mankind with miracles, as well as directing Principalities. They're a friend to artists and scientists who inspire and move people, and to break propaganda about Heaven being "boring". Fallen - Belial and other former Virtues are focused on making sure those inspired lose it to pride and arrogance. They also make sure Demons aren't themselves inspired by catchy ideas like "kindness" and snuff out attempts to neutralize Demons (Man, they gotta be pissed at Japan by now...) Third Sphere These Angel do all the legwork and are the only ones who work directly with humans Principalities - They help organize human leaderships and try to make sure only humans who represent the best interest of Heaven and Earth come into rule. They try to keep entire city-states safeguarded, as well as move humans to depose leaders who are in league with Demons. Fallen - Verrier and other former Principalities try their best to make sure corrupted leaders stay in place. Almost the same job. Archangels - Man, these guys get press. They're responsible basically for taking the fight to Demons and attack them wherever they stand. They get a surprising amount of respect in Heaven despite their low rank. Likewise, they try to inspire humans into helping them fight Demons. Fallen - Olivier directs former Archangels into not fighting their counterparts, but rather exacting vengeance against them by hurting the poor and disadvantaged. Angels - The lowest order, they're essentially angels modeled after humans in order to become their friends, advisers, and protectors. They interact with humans on a frequent basis (and thus have a wide array of personalities) and serve as the messengers of heaven. They also serve to protect humans from Demons, however they're not allowed to do so unless requested to by their charge. Fallen - This level lacks a direct leader, though some report to Iuvart. They're responsible for corrupting mortals they can and killing whichever ones are useless. They're looked down on by other Demons, and former Virtues are constantly monitoring them to make sure human tendency to question everything doesn't spread. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
11:34 am	Gnostic meanings in Tales of Symphonia and Zoe Abraxis This is one big spoiler for the game Tales of Symphonia so I'm going to put this behind a cut. Anyone who's read my Zoe journal might recognize some of these themes, as they draw from the same source. As such, I'll draw a comparison to characters in Zoe's journal as well to help ease understanding of Zoe's journal as a whole. The spoilers are pretty thick though, so... this entry is pretty much exclusive to people who don't care about them or had seen both stories through. The cast is set. Let's roll. ( Roll call! ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:21 am	Definition of reality Walking today, I came to the conclusion that reality is defined almost entirely by absolutes, non absolutes, and mysteries. Also why changing reality itself is a risky thing. First thing to understand about absolutes is that they're further divided into true absolutes and assigned absolutes, usually the latter existing as an extension of the former but being an entirely human invention. Let's take math. Two plus two is always going to be four. That's an absolute. However, any meaning or significance we attach to four is our own, self-imposed absolutes. An even better example is sex versus gender. One of the two human sexes is smaller and lacks as much body hair as the other, thus we come up with all sorts of absolutes involving the fairer sex. That becomes our reality. The problem lies in when either a core absolute or invented absolute are challenged. Imposed absolutes are challenged all the time. The problem itself lies entirely in physics. Physics dictate that once something has momentum it's going to need power equal or opposite of the momentum to cause it to stop, let alone control. This is why redefining reality or wishing for a better one is a very complicated matter, as destroying certain structures can permanently damage the very thing you're trying to perfect. Let's say for example you're an old man and you wish you could redefine reality to be young and lively again. You have regrets out the wazoo. If you somehow gained enough power to eliminate the concept of age or the elderly, you also wind up weakening or breaking almost all other concepts that are reliant on the concept of old age. This is why I keep thinking the universe is cruel by nature: The person trapped in this sort of situation has no recourse at all. They have to continue living because they obviously don't have enough power to change something of that scale... but even if they did, the only recourse they would have would involve destroying everything they love. Does anyone else see a serious problem with this? Either suffer eating gristle and crumbs or face the abyss. A microcosm of exactly this situation can be seen in revolutionary wars across history, as oppressive rulers are uprooted and wind up taking out so much of the system that a bully can take charge and start the process over again. However, as thorny as a problem like this is, there is a further wrinkle or complication. The simple fact that people do not often know what is best for them. A child, given choice between veggies and candy will always choose candy even if the candy winds up wrecking them. It's a very tricky thing to understand whether the realities you fight that define bits about you against your will is for the best. Let's take gender identity -- up until very recently, as early as two or three weeks prior to this posting, I was convinced I should have been born a girl and struggled against the reality that defined me otherwise. However, if I had somehow succeeded in redefining that reality, it would have had perverse consquences because suddenly the thing I had reached had lost meaning as well as everything I should be about goes with it. So it's even hard to say if it's power were meant to have -- the potential for us to make things even worse far supercedes the desire to change that one or two things. All I know is that deep down I seek to be happy, at peace with myself and the world, and be filled with eternal optimism and a sense of creation and childlike wonder. In that vein I've been thinking of another approach to dealing with absolutes, imposed or otherwise. My current answer is reality translation. I've been thinking that perhaps the answer doesn't lie in bitterly accepting reality as inevitable, violently trying to struggle against it, or even changing one's perception of reality in order to bitterly accept it. Perhaps the answer lies in redefining already-established absolutes into absolutes that effectively keep the formula intact. It's almost like basic algebra and how you rearrange the equation to mean the same thing but look completely different. For example, I recently angst'd on my normal journal about how I missed out on a high school experience. If I write a story based on that experience as well as translating everything else around me into the story, it could even be possible that new "set" of effectively resorted absolutes is what becomes our own universe in a future life or existence. This sort of thinking is what lead me to coming up with gender transience in the first place. Take the absolute of my being born as a male, and assume for a moment that is what defines me partially. I was forced to either accept it as permanent, or struggle against reality in hopes of changing it even though it could case even more gender-birth disruptions across the board and upset the balance. Instead, the absolute became that if I was in a reality like the vivid ones different media, my being born male would be a prelude to something else. I could translate into another medium my "falsely" being set off as having "truly" been so. Thus, in this way, I could slowly release chains that bind me. Redefining core absolutes and either ignoring or disbelieving (no matter how pervasive) imposed absolutes might cause reality itself to shift for the one invoking such a technique. However, the catch is if you're invoking it purely for the purpose of redefining your reality, you're already defining your reality by this reality in the idea that this reality is omitted from what you're working from. Thus it fails with that mindset. If you want to get down to it, if you want reality to change, you need to approach it with a sort of childlike wonder, the ability to ignore things without actively trying to, and not acknowledge problems as being anything but challenges you haven't yet fixed. That said, this entire entry was acknowledging problems instead of fixing them, so I'm already somewhat boomeranging and losing ground again. Gah. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
8:57 am	I'm still working on the concept of transient-gendered people (Ironically, the word "TG" still works). I want to mention before I go forward that it's a coincidence that "Transient" is literally the opposite of the word "Eternal". The latter means that which never passes, and the former means exactly something that passes in the course of time OR something that which is brief or fleeting. This, after all, is an appropriate title for gender transients. One thing important to understand is that just because someone is prepared to jump the gender barrier in extremely unlikely circumstance is not the same as gender transience. Transient gendered people aren't just prepared for the circumstance, but their minds, emotions, and hormones are practically geared for the event, though consciously unaware of the inoperative rollercoaster their own brain is strapping them into. Why transients are born set this far up in the first place is anyone's guess, though easing communication between the schism of gender seems a likely one. One might suggest it's cruel on some level that a transient-gendered almost never gets to fulfill their complete coding operation, since it relies on outside forces. However it should also be noted that gender is, technically speaking, a minor detail if one looks at the big picture. Gender's domain is pretty much limited to love, expression, self-image, and sociality (if taking its relation to physical sex into accordance, reproduction as well). From a purely humanistic viewpoint, those things are of paramount importance and it is true it means a lot to a human to fulfill those details. However, again, in comparison to the entire universe as a whole humanity is barely even a footnote. So even a transient-gendered person who lives and dies without ever knowing what kind of ride they were setup for still has a LOT they can do with their lives. Furthermore, if one believes in reincarnation or dimensional physics or somesuch thing, they do get plenty of "lives" where it is set off properly from start to finish. One thing that's interesting to note is that the transient-gender theory pretty much ironically staticizes gender state in its premise. What's this mean? It means that anytime there is a straight up black-against-white mental/physical gender mismatch, it's automatically the basis of transsexuality. It bases on the idea that souls do indeed have gender, and that's important not to screw around with it without very good cause. A male should be born and kept a male. A female should be born and kept a female. Furthermore it applies to transients: a base-male transient should ideally always be born a male, a base-female transient should ideally always be born a female. Transsexuality stems from whenever there is a cosmic screwup. It should be noted that a transient-gendered (TG) person and a stalwart-gendered (SG) never directly cross paths -- it is literally impossible for an SG to be born as a TG or vice versa. Here are the causes of transsexuality as far as I can see: males born females, females born males, a transient of either stripe spending itself under a false alarm, or the real can of worms that results in a case where, for example, a base-male transient is born a female (I'm not even sure what happens then!). I think a large number of the divides in the transsexual community come from spent or nearly-spent transients trying to communicate with transsexuals who were pretty much screwed from the beginning. Ironically one could even suppose or attribute a spent base-male transient's argument with a female-brained transsexual as being another version of the original gender schism in the first place. What is a "spent" transient, exactly? It requires one to think of transients as being like matches. A match is pre-prepared to burn and has a red tip and such. Ideally a match will be used when a fire is called for. Otherwise it just runs out of material and goes out, leaving a miserable black pick. Typically in a normal environment, a transient-gendered person will never run across this danger. They will know they're "different" somehow, they may have played with the girls, but they're more or less happy with who they are gender-wise. The danger does not come until a transgender concept crosses their brain for the first time. Part of their coding will fire off immediately, however it typically will go out before long without it being further encouraged. This I'm just calling basic pebbling, it's not anything to be too concerned about. To some degree they can even play with transgender concepts without truly being exposed to the full threat. The full threat comes in the form of something we once thought innocent -- roleplay. Even from the very first session of it the transient-gendered person plays, it could be the very thing that causes them to go down that slippery slope and burn. This is why the internet itself is a huge threat to transient-wiring. The first few times their brain is stimulated into thinking that they've changed sex is the beginning of the burn. They dont't even realize it at first, it just seems like another game. However it isn't. Each time they act out the fantasy, it becomes more and more intense and each time when brought back to reality or their real life, the more jarring both seem. In the brightest burning moments, a transient-gendered person is actually a very irritable individual, prone to showing hostility whenever it looks for a moment like their fantasy is slowing down in intensity (this is partially because their brain is panicked that they're not "still" their new selves after the roleplay session is over). In the height of passion I myself was prone to snapping at people for not responding to my instant messages fast enough if they were someone who could potentially ease the pain. The flames eventually very slowly die down, and the person instead becomes bitter and full of empty emotions. Their self-esteem is shot, and yet their mind is still slowly becoming more and more like the opposite sex as per the strike. If many years of this persist, eventually the transient in question will become indistinguishable from a born transsexual (aside from minute differences). It's in or near this state I refer to transients as "spent". At this point, it's almost a better idea to just go all the way through with it and become a relatively operative member of their adopted gender. Why am I not taking this route, then, if it's possibly easier on my psyche? First off, if my theory of transient-genders is correct, I'd like to be one of the first people to try and undo the damage even if it's the uphill route or even if it's entirely impossible. I suspect a lot of "purgings" that happen are from transients who unconsciously recognize what is happening and are violently trying to apply brakes or swerve, however I think such violent transitions only leaves scarring and are unlikely to succeed due to the fact that in humans pleasure is the ultimate drive. At the very least it'd be interesting if I was one of the first people to climb backwards and try to become unspent again and succeed at it. That's the rationale for my current experiment. That's half the the inspiration. The other half stems from the Hazumu character of Kashimashi ~Girl Meets Girl~ who appears to be a transient-gendered person under the condition where there is no false alarm and her whole life is set ablaze, creating a very unique type of maiden that I knew in an instant I'd like to be if I could have my choice. While I don't think I can truly become "unspent" again, as transgender concepts are burned in my brain and are probably here to stay (as well as memories of wonderful friends), there is the fact that you never know what you can do unless you try. The fact no one's done this before after going as far as I had also doesn't drop the possibility of just how *much* I can reset. At bare minimum, I'd like to be able to record the lessons I'm learning in the "scroll of wisdom" in the back of my soul so in a future life my brain could be completely immune to being set off (yes, assuming again that I'll be a base-male transient -- it's what I am). And yes, believe it or not, there is at least one person I know who has completely survived even the most intense of roleplay without really losing their "cherry" so to speak. It's probably just a part of natural law or basic Darwinism -- survival of the fittest. Ultimately, my effort and what it means is more important than whether I get results. (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
10:42 am	Transients: A new gender idea I'm pretty sure people were just waiting for me to post a philosophy entry inspired by Kashimashi ~Girl Meets Girl~. And you'd be right. Actually, the creator of that manga has inspired me time and time again with his other works (I did some digging, and in fact my very first anime I've owned was by him). The creator influenced my teen years to some degree -- got both shows I watched from Joey back in that day -- indirectly, so I'm not surprised to be given another wakeup call. Kashimashi got me really thinking about what it means to have a gender identity, or where it should be based. I thought it was interesting how Hazumu-chan was pretty much a brick-solid match for myself and a lot of my friends. I know I immediately pointed at her and said "That's my gender!" even though she was unusual for both a guy and girl in some unexplainable way. I thought about it the last three days and I came up with a theory that I've not yet put fully into practice, but if it holds up to testing, it's going to seriously give me an outlook on life that doesn't basically suggest the universe screwed up with me or anyone like me. It fits tidy with reality as I know it while still giving the fantastic plenty of room. I'd like to hear opinions on the concept, too, so don't be afraid to comment. What if me and others like me are a sort of "mirror" gender set? A set that right now I'm tentatively calling "Transients". Transients are basically people who are born in a specific sex, but are destined -- for reasons often (but very far from "always") beyond their control -- to become the other. For example, let's take a Transient boy. He is the same as any other boy. Something about him seems "off" somehow, but he is otherwise fairly happy with himself and his life. While it may or may not happen, there is "coding" there for the Transient in question to jump genders as a reaction to an event. It's a part of who they are, that code is always lying in wait to spring. If it does spring, the Transient in question isn't destroyed by it but actually evolves and grows emotionally and spiritually due to the conflict or impact from the transformation. Transients, furthermore, are typically kept in the dark by the universe about who or what they are as a part of their role in the great scheme of things. The presence of Transients in a population helps create a harmony between men and women, even if their "coding" remains dormant for the entirety of their lives -- they aid reproduction this way even if it's in a roundabout fashion. Sounds pretty interesting, huh? Except there is one snag: The Transient model is not equipped to handle the internet! The internet or otherwise liberally (application, not political) spread information fed to a Transient brain runs the risk of "tripping" or "setting off" the coding prematurely. This leads the Transient in question down a spiral of confusion because suddenly their body didn't change along with it and it's all wrong for them now. This leads the Transient in question becoming something very much like (but not the same as) a transsexual because of the mismatch going on. They further become more like transsexuals when the coding in question causes their brain to settle into the form of a "normal" member of the opposite sex but their body still hasn't followed suit. This leads a Transient into despair, and they begin spending an enormous amount of time away from their original body in an internet environment where at least half of their coding can operate. They often wander between different Transgender communities like a sort of lost spirit. Transsexuals often unconsciously knowing the difference between them and may even violently stave them off if inclined (the Venus Envy incident, and hundreds of Fictionmania flamewars). Nonetheless, the half-spent Transient is pretty much a living ghost that haunt themselves. Typically this will continue until they live out the rest of their lives and they pass on to their next lives, hopefully one where their coding will either go off entirely or not at all (assuming here that our gender is static between lives, thus allowing spiritual as well as biological validation of transsexuality). However, there is hope in sight: I cannot honestly say what happens when a Transient becomes self-aware of their gender state, as it's supposed to be a black box. It could even be possible that they can furnish the willpower to reset the spring and thus happily live out the life of the sex where they began until it's actually MEANT to go off (if it does, Transients don't necessarily get to always fulfill what they're set up for but ideally they can do easily). I know at least one person who was almost sprung but somehow resisted it at the last minute and is still happy as who he is. I know others who had not had their chain reactions go all the way, so they're only dinged up a bit. We can help each other! (On that note Transients also aren't meant to congregate, that defeats the point of them facilitating gender communication -- however, the TG part of the Tief plane does have them in mass) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
6:53 am	The Serpent Recently, I've found a reliable power source to draw on in my own personal life. A sort of wellspring of energy and motivation that can't run out as long as I keep it tapped. And that is, oddly enough, the essence of snake. When I draw upon serpentine force, I gain all sorts of inner strength (as evidenced by Zoe's journal breaking a several month writer's block). When did the Aeternalae group really take off? When I began working with their Egg Snake (Ovalisk) precursors. I can't quite explain it myself, nor am I particularly trying to. However, more and more I'm seeing some odd allegories pop up. A bit of serpent symbolism can be seen in even how I operate kinwise: Every six to eight months or so I seem to completely reinvent myself (Be it a friendship or kinship with Nekomata, Windians, flirtation with Dwarves, and so on). Not in bits and pieces, just one big rebirth and sometimes with a name change to boot. I've been inconsistent, but there is a parallel between that and how snakes are the only creature to shed the skin of their entire bodies at once and around the same intervals. I don't mean to be using that as a colorful excuse for inconsistencies, but just wanted to note the thought. Regardless of whatever meaning this all holds (if any, I'm being very careful not to openly say "This is it!" because that's what leads me to inconsistency in the first place) I do know that snakes lead to my successes on a very subtle level that I shouldn't ignore anymore. http://www.illuminatedlantern.com/cinema/features/snakes.html It's an interesting read, some parts to note: -- In a Chinese myth, a Naga woman creates humanity from the mud of a river. Nu Wa herself is considered an intermediary between men and women in another article. She's married to her brother, but I found no mention of her having children. -- The Serpent King calms the waters between the Gods and Demons when he helps the Gods regain their power they lost while keeping the Demons at bay and even getting their help for the task! This is the story about the churning of a sea of milk and how Shiva came to be blue in color. -- Not mentioned in this article, but in Legend of the Five Rings (a Japanese-styled medieval fantasy universe) the naginata is invented by a human who wanted to create a human-usable version of naga polearms. This isn't completely baseless, as coincidentally female Naga are often referred to as Nagin, Nagini (plural) or Nagina. -- In the movie version of Lady White Snake's tale, her power is reliant on moon phases. During New Moon she loses her powers entirely and reverts to her snake form which she hides from her beloved in fear. The Chinese movie Devi tells this tale and numerous other movies (Such as Nagin) are inspired by it. I personally can identify with the duality she is forced to live with. On that note, nagini have very potent shapeshifting abilities in general. -- In a linked article Nagin has a very quirky quote I need to figure out the context for ASAP "I am your daughter. And I am also your son." said by one of the main characters, Mala. The movie Snake Girl is a funny twist on a classic stereotype: girl angers ruler, ruler casts her into pit of snakes, she befriends and lives with them with no desire to climb back out. And so on. I don't have a good closer though. (Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
11:30 am	Seeds of enchantment -- Important, please read I think I just discovered a dangerous curse/blessing on myself that may apply to humanity as a whole. I feel like I found something so incredibly dangerous, yet at the same time incredibly liberating and constraining. I dug deep enough trying to find the seeds of my tendency to shift in spirit and mindset and I think I found the underlying source of my confusion and possibly a spell that much of humanity has on itself. I should also note that an artist named Dan is one of the most helpful people I know as far as trying to help me find stuff like this. Nope, not El Goonish Shive guy, I've not talked to him in a long time, but an artist on par with that Dan incidentally. I'll talk about Dan in my "real" journal in the future. Anyways, seeds of enchantment are on me and possibly a lot of you. It could even be one of the defining powers of being a human being and a good reason for any entity to want to try a life as a human. Humans have the ability to constantly evolve, grow, change yet no one thought of why. I call this "Rangalution", like boomerang. Namely, whatever I say to describe other people slowly becomes true in myself! That's part of why World of Warcraft became such a class headache for me -- anytime I called someone a "Priest" or a "Rogue" or something, part of me became a Priest or a Rogue. If I tell someone they're confused, a part of me becomes confused. Hell, if I so much as say "She's a crack whore" some deep part of my unconscious is slipping on fishnet stockings and packing morning after pills. This is obviously trouble to someone unaware of the spell on them as the more I try to find my way out of the haze the more complex the haze becomes. The emotional and psychological equivalent of a chinese finger trap. It's a perfect trap for someone like Akemi, who thrives on conflict -- the more I fight with people the more I acquire the traits I attribute to my foes. This could be the source of the concept of projection in general because in retrospect it looks like hypocrisy however at the time of the projection it may or may not have been true. You guys like NaNoWriMo don't you? A month long killer obligation? Alright. Here is what I'm proposing. From today to Thanksgiving, I volunteer along with anyone else willing to undertake this venture not to label anyone or anything that we don't want to attribute to ourselves. This goes from everything from "That guy is a loser" to "That guy is African". Unless you want to be a loser and become partially African, resist the urge to use either label. If you have to use a label, counteract or balance it with an opposing label of equal strength. This can be loosely interpreted -- if you say "He's a Warrior" then if you don't want to become a Warrior partially then say "She's a Mage" in reference to someone else. This has its downsides, obviously. You are incredibly limited in your self expression or your ability to convey ideas. The upside? If I'm right we can use this enchantment as a method of self transformation. Like, next time we feel the pangs of envy for something we intentionally and selectively label something as that which we want to have for ourselves. That's the motivation for this project: perhaps by Thanksgiving those of you like me can be as cute as the wedding icon I'm using at the time of this post. It's worth a shot. By the way, Kerina (Jody) is a beautiful maiden with a kind heart and the ability to zap everything under the sun into maidens like her. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
6:45 am	Drawing lines in the sand Now then... Clarifying my beliefs as I'm sure they came as a shock. Do I believe in the existence of the Devil? Yes. Do I believe in the existence of nonphysical Demons who tempt us and attempt to control us? Yes. Do I believe that Christ kamikazed for mankind's sins? Yes. Do I even believe that homosexuality is the purview of the Devil? Yes, but read further .The Human World is in a war with the Demon Realm. The landmasses are our minds, thoughts, beliefs, free will. The battle is unique in that the Devil can only take areas we willingly give him, and it so happens that we always confined him to homosexuality which wasn't traditionally evil but has become a vessel for such in the hands of Satan. In this modern era with gay people getting their rights, Satan is losing his grasp on what was formerely a stalwart piece of land for him. More power to the gay people, I say, let us starve and parch the Devil wherever he stands. It should really come to no surprise to people I believe in the existence of Hell and Satan. My belief in this came to fruition in the last month when I began talking with a woman in real life who was formerly addicted to a powerful drug (I think it might have been cocaine) and she blamed Demons for it, and that once she recognized their presence she was able to fight them and break the addiction. I had no reason to disbelieve her. There are Demons beyond this world and of this world who are constantly trying to do us harm. Mind you, they're not like the Mazoku I keep speaking of: They're the same as far as their makeup is concerned, but they're like normal Demonkin with mange or rabies but with the same level of intelligence as always. They need to be put down, and who will do it is us (empowered by the word of God should we choose to take His offer), the archangels, or a clever Maou who sees opportunity in their narrowminded vision and decides to crush them and take their Hell for themselves. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
11:25 am	Where have the Nagas gone? I'm very tempted to play with a Naga persona. I have good reasons to, though I'm not necessarily doing it just yet. One thing I've learned is to always look before I leap. But all the same, here goes the possibility of using spiritual shapeshifting to try it. 1. I identify with reptiles. Keep in mind it was my brain that came up with the Ovalisks, who share with the Naga certain level of symbolism for fertility, pleasure, and reproduction. Moreover, I love aquatic reptiles in particular such as Argonians in Morrowind. 2. Their association with the Water element, easily my favorite of the traditional four (though Fire and Earth come close). 3. It would somewhat reestablish my ties with the Furry community, something I've actually been itching to do for years but always get repulsed back by some of the idiots and perverts from that group. However, this would give me a good wedge to stick my foot back into their circles just to see how things are. 4. They're a part of the whole Angel/Demon/Human dichotomy. The forgotten "fourth child". 5. My lucky number is two and all even numbers in general. Female Naga operate almost purely by those, incidentally, it would explain that (though I admit trivial things like this don't always need explanation). They have very strong gender division in general. 6. Polearms are a perfectly suited weapon for their body type. OK, first of all, time to share a little known fact: The Nagas are the forgotten "fourth child" of the traditional trinity of Celestials, Infernals, and Humanity. Yes, I'm well aware that other beings exist besides Nagas, Humans, Devas, and Asuras in Hinduism (such as Rakshas) but the four species are direct siblings sharing one specific mother. However, the Nagas have not survived the ages like Asuras and Devas have. Asuras are now Demons (generally), Devas are now Angels (generally), and Humanity is Humanity. What happened to the Nagas? Apparently, according to myth they now live in the deepest depths of the ocean awaiting a time they're once again needed by the forces of the world. This is probably another case of "Supernatural Exportation", but an interesting one nonetheless. Supernatural Exportation I'll talk about in another entry down the line. In short I'm referring to the act of a people or culture fully exploring their surroundings and realizing the beings they were sure existed don't so thus they must be somewhere else (our dreams, Heaven, Hell, the Ocean, Outer Space, etc. wherever we can't get to). I can't help but wonder why the Naga were not fit to be elevated into a new state by the people who coopted Devas and Asuras? The last anyone had seen of them was when their worship had reached seashore cultures where they were worshipped as fertility agents (hint: snakes resemble a certain organ in a sense) and then sorta vanished. The last we know of them is that the Cambodians believe they're descended from the Nagas. Here are games where the Nagas get some representation: -- In Breath of Fire, the Goddess/Sorceress Deis is obviously a Naga. Her antagonism with Princess Nina can be explained in how the Nagas are the natural enemies (not sure how severely) with the Garudas who are bird people. -- In Warcraft, Nagas are accurately portrayed as having risen from the depths and how the males and females have drastic differences. Their violent disposition probably stems from the stigma for snakes that arose some point in history. -- In Monster Rancher, Nagas are a violent breed of monster (again, I wonder where it came from?) that are also dumb as rocks. Again, nothing definite here. The only purpose of this post is to express genuine interest in learning about this forgotten race in hopes of trying to bring it back to conscious light in a way other than what Warcraft is trying. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
2:48 pm	The Great Wild All Demons can come in three flavors: 1. Rabid hellspawn (Fallen Lucifer and his ilk) 2. Somewhat normal (Mazoku) 3. Risen Demons (Shinzoku, the opposite of a Fallen Angel -- noble, redeemed, purehearted) The first one we'll talk about today, as they made Demons famous. Makai Senki Disgaea and its predecessor, La Pucelle have a song about this specific variety that's also remixed in Phantom Kingdom (Makai Kingdom) called "The Great Wild". The name is apt, referring to the feral qualities of this variety. Let's not mince words: If you ever come across this first variety, there is no negotiations to be had. Destroy them, don't even think twice about it. They're a threat to the fabric of reality and must be put down like the animals they are. They are the enemies of all life. It's hard to describe the Demons of the Great Wild except that they're in constant irritation and agony, and lust for destruction. Their appetite for violence, misery, entropy, and suffering is bottomless. However, beware thinking them as mindless animals who are, in their own way, victims. They made an active choice to be this way. They're sentient and intelligent, they are actively choosing to destroy. Moreover, they're not unorganized. One of their leaders, the Prince of Lies, is an expert in shapeshifting and manipulating and allowing for him and his minions to be disguised as "normal" Mazoku, Shinzoku, and occasionally even celestial beings. Don't be fooled! It's because of the Prince of Lies that Demonkin in general cannot ever be trusted. Not only are normal Mazoku dangerous to trust as they are, it doesn't help that sometimes they're more dangerous beings posing as something less so. Whereas "normal" Mazoku have a disdain and occasionally sadistic pleasure towards Ningen (and Shinzoku a fickle love towards them), the "Great Wild" Demons have an active and bottomless hatred for them. I'm not sure where it stems exactly, but they'd love nothing more than to torture and feed off the suffering of the souls of Ningenkai. Part of why Earth's state is so bleak in particular is because we are constantly stalked by Demons. They cannot directly interfere with the First Realm yet, but they're working towards it. Fiction isn't wrong. There is a Hell as Judeo-Christian religions warn us of, and the endlessly hateful Demons who populate it want to feast on the blood and horror of humankind for eternity. Thankfully, it won't be for eternity -- it's only a matter of time before they're put down by Celestials, a sword-wielding-hero(TM), another Makai who sees their singleminded hate as a weakness (it'd be out of the fire and into the frying pan for the lost souls in Hell as we speak -- an improvement in quality of afterlife but serving most Maou still sucks), or our Shinkai -- if it still exists, Shinto claims that World War 2 exterminated this world's Shinzoku -- decides enough is fucking enough and attack them in the interest of protecting us. (The second scenario can be seen in the Disgaea series itself -- Baal is the most powerful of Demons and the Great Wild song partially is about him, and Laharl has sworn to destroy him for a few reasons I won't spoil) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
12:13 pm	Permanent Impermanence It's now occured to me recently what humanoid "Disgaea" Mazoku might be. They might actually be Sidhe. This would explain a lot. Before I go too far out on a limb, allow me the privelege of explaining what Sidhe are. They're a concept from Druidic/Celtic mythology that went a long way into inspiring Aeternalae. In short, they're perfectly beautiful human-shaped beings who are immortal and unchanging. They live in what the Druids call the Fairy Realm. The Sidhe ofcten are portrayed as having triangular or pointed ears. When you mix the willowy, ethereal, beautiful Sidhe with existing legends of forest elves (who are more akin to Santa's in legend) you have Tolkien Elves. From Tolkien Elves you have just about every other annoying variety down to the tolerable Night Elves. At the very least Undead Elves are properly called Banshees (Bane Sidhe). To sum up the Sidhe, they're beings of abject pleasure that prey on humans to some extent, but not in a malicious way. Because they envy humanity's tendency to change, they often try to draw in or assimilate humans into their number. It's difficult to rescue someone once the Sidhe have them. The Fairy Realm offers many carnal and sensual pleasures and it strokes one's ego to approach it to the point it's hard to want to leave. But it will drain you of life energy and remove entire years from your life. Now, let's mention Makai briefly -- to sum up Makai, it's the Demon Realm that often recieve imports from other realms. Gargoyles are there. Vampires are there. Succubi. Nekomata. Oni. Some fairies sometimes even wind up there (No, really, hobgoblins aren't that uncommon a sight). Not a huuuuuuuuuuge stretch that Sidhe would wind up there and join the Mazoku in their dark quest. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
5:51 pm	This is going to be a strange entry... Basically, I just had a conversation with my Guardian Angel, and I'm posting the transcript. It's thanks to a confrontation wtih a friend yesterday that I began considering the need for something like this. Telliel is a very kind person, and it please me greatly to have someone I can go to for answers. Not the least of which I finally understand a bit about Christianity and Aeternality's relationship to it. ( Telliel ) (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
2:15 pm	Makai logic What is it I keep calling suffering? The most common tool used by malicious people, and frequently the Mazoku themselves? Suffering I define as that which disables or blocks the path to self actualization. I firmly believe every being alive has the right to self actualization. The act of fulfilling a purpose or destiny that one was born to carry out and maintain. As long as that destiny is maintained and individuals aren't subjected to pleasurable pain or distress, they are not suffering. Suffering is promoted by cruel individuals who make use of it openly, or by those who refuse to act to save another when there is no risk -- even a minute one -- of personal cost to doing so. Incidentally, the act of prioritizing these often achieves the same results as active do-gooders. Let us, for example, take the passing of my entourage (me and my bodyguards) when I notice out of the corner of my eye that some bandits are harassing an old woman and have a knife to her grandson's throat. The bandits, naturally, are nowhere near as powerful as me -- the Maou. To me, staving off suffering would indeed involve cutting down those fools and saving that child. Why, though? Aren't I "supposed" to be an evil, dark being? Do I not keep talking about how the weak earn what they deserve? By Makai logic, the bandits were the righteous ones. But they weren't. There are several reasons why. One is that they were both cowards who have no means of displaying their strength except by brutalizing the innocent or those that can't fight back. Another is that all those weaker than me are essentially already my property by right of strength and I will not abide my property being damaged or limited in their potential by ruffians who are useless to my kingdom. If the old woman and child were passing through a lawless land, then they did indeed make their bed. If they HAD to pass through it, they still made that decision and it was still the bandits' right to prey. Even if it wasn't a lawless land, I'd still cut them down. Essentially, wherever I -- the Maou -- go, a sphere of influence or order follows me. I preserve the right to claim ownership to vermin I pass by. In this case, the bandits and woman/child would all become my vassals whether they wanted to be or not. Provided I didn't interfere with their destinies, I have the right to do what I please with them. If, say, the child had a brother that would suffer if left behind I would actually go back for the brother on my convenience and keep them both as servants. Say the brother now is destined to play the harp and it is his calling and passion... Whatever else about him I could influence I would. Say it wouldn't damage his destiny -- just merely alter it -- by becoming one of my handmaidens with a wave and a spell. So it shall be done, because I want it that way. This is the root of how "evil" can use kindness and compassion just as "good" can. Say now that he insists on leaving the castle because he is afraid of me and what I do and attempts to leave. Provided I don't do something to prevent him from following his dreams of becoming a harp player or fulfilling conditions required for his purpose and self-actualizing, I can put him through all kind of pleasure-torture to break his puny little mind and keep him from even thinking of crossing me again. It's a very tricky matter to perform all sorts of acts of domination, control, and ruthlessness while having ruth, and restricting one's torture methods to very pleasurable or sensational stimulation. But it's exactly why I'm going to be the best. Let's say that a heroine comes a-knocking and she intends to defeat me as part of her destiny to stop my damaging her town. She'll have fulfilled it MY way: as a statue in my center atrium and my being aware of the oppresion in said town and altering my policies to discontinue the corrupted individuals (followed possibly even by an apology to the people, I am not above those either). Thus, by making me aware of the problem, that beautiful statue saved her home. Of course, I might cause suffering if the family feels they need her... in that case, I do have more room in said atrium if it's possible to swing it. If Demonkin can be likened to bloodsucking parasites like subtle disease bringing ticks or annoying constant fleas, I shall be the leech that can often be beneficial in the right circumstances... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
11:21 am	Christianity's addition It's time to examine another perspective that is often neglected in philosophy journals except as a bitter footnote: The Christian perspective. First of all, if you're looking for a journal that slanders Christ or his children, you're looking in the wrong place. I have no such thing in mind. Am I, Akemi, the enemy of Christ's children given what I am? Depends on whether they interfere with me and my lifestyle (which, naturally, includes getting between me and my prey). At worst they're a nuisance, so I don't particularly think badly of them. But I'd like to give my view on Christianity... the view of an outsider, one of the very ones they spend time and energy trying to unmake. And I'm opening with saying it's ironic that despite being their explicit choice of enemy, I have little to no bitterness towards them while the majority of my friends (human or nonhuman) exhibit some true spite in regards to them despite being secondary targets, if a target at all. First off, Christianity is one of the first religions to really begin seeing the big picture. It amuses and pleases me they're aware of the precarious position Earth is in and are taking up arms against my vile brethren whenever possible. Many other of these "New Age" religions rather sit with their thumbs up their collective asses in the misguided belief that if they shut their eyes and spew rationalizations about how the thing that threatens them doesn't exist. One viewpoint embraced by Christianity is that Demons are constantly in the air about them and they seek weaknesses in their guards and beliefs and exploit them -- this is well seen in a work of fiction like C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters". This belief is a risky one to take as it often leads to incidences of incredible paranoia, a susceptability to (ironically) brainwashing, and self affliction. However, Christianity is one of the few religions that sees Hell breathing down humanity's collective necks and is fighting to do something about it. If you doubt for a moment how every human in live is in danger, keep in mind the one who is even writing this. A human body and soul possessed to some degree by a Demon. The circumstances in his life made me and my presence possible. Let me serve, to some degree, as an example of what can happen to humans when they're not aware of malicious spirits about them. Otherkin and other socially unstable individuals are especially at risk. While it's foolish to say anytime a human does something cruel, hateful, or insane it's a Demon at fault (Christianity doesn't seem to get that yet), yet Otherkin and other such "New Age" groups aren't taking proper precautions against Demons or are beginning to disregard them in light of comedic settings like the ones Nippon Ichi presents. This is not smart, and I'm a good example of why. Why do I even care about setting an example? Why am I portraying Christianity in a positive light despite being the very thing they want to destroy? Because, as Akemi, I hate my kindred Mazoku. I don't merely dislike them, I hate them. They disgust me with their narrowminded approach to "evil", they disgust me with their disregard for suffering, and they disgust me with some of their childish pissing contests. And I want them to feel consequences for their ignorance, punished for daring to inconvenience me and my rise to power, and removed from my sight forever. The type of Demon that relies on destruction and pain to further their ends (many, many, many of them) are cowards who are afraid to let their own power or sense of being determine their rank or ability to subjugate. I want them crushed, they are wasting resources I -- a far more powerful and superior being -- deserve. To me, religions like Christianity who are aware of their presence and actually fighting them are a means to that end. They are tools, little soldiers who are clearing the way without knowing they are assisting the next Maou. I will have the infernal pain-craving Mazoku in my way set asunder, and beg for me to be their mistress and queen by the time me and allies have them against the wall. I will show the whole universe how "evil" a certain level of compassion can be. A level of empathy that extends to the intense desire for no being to suffer or be in throes of intense pain (and a will to keep subjects or potential subjects from that state) but no further consideration than that. I'll define what I consider to be "suffering" in a couple of hours. Suffice to say, despite the threatening tone I made in this entry, I am not a threat to one who shares with me the desire to end suffering (as I'll define it in a bit). The true threat I represent can be dealt with afterwards. The villain of the play has to put his diabolical work on hold if the damn set is on fire. (2 Comments |Comment on this)